


champagne problems

by hanabyulse



Category: Mamamoo
Genre: Alternate Universe - High School, Angst, F/F, Friends to Lovers, Lovers to Friends
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-02-04
Updated: 2021-02-04
Packaged: 2021-03-15 18:47:57
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 7,833
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/29194059
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/hanabyulse/pseuds/hanabyulse
Summary: high school sweethearts byulyi and yongsun brave the challenges of a love that took the world by storm.
Relationships: Kim Yongsun | Solar/Moon Byulyi | Moonbyul
Comments: 5
Kudos: 21





	champagne problems

_One..._

_Two..._

And then three. Byulyi was three minutes late; unusual for her behavior, she was frequently the first one to get here.

It was a blazing afternoon that scorched through Yongsun's bomber jacket while she waited for Byulyi under the bleachers of their high school in Bucheon. She clicked her tongue in her impatience, the weather making it more unbearable to wait for her secret lover. Hearing panted and gasping breaths from behind her, she turned to look at Byulyi, palms on her knees in exhaustion. 

"Hey, I'm sorry! I was trying to get away from the hall monitor—what's her name, I don't know." Yongsun raised an eyebrow at her lengthy ramble of an excuse, making the junior catch her breath before finally settling on, "I'm really sorry for making you wait, is all."

"It's fine. You just know I hate the heat." They were supposed to be in Calculus and Geography, but they had no time else to be meeting with some bit of privacy—away from the prying eyes, that would eventually turn into the speaking mouths, and they couldn't have that. At least, Yongsun couldn't. 

Byulyi laughed and loosely hung her arms on her senior's shoulders, thumbs tucked under her jacket. "You could've taken this off, you know that?" Yongsun puffed out her cheeks in defiance. "Fashion over comfort, you amateur." 

That might be true, because it was Yongsun. But she doubted her just as much, for the same reason. Yongsun fought against Byulyi's attempt to remove her jacket, just to catch sight of her bare arm, the jacket finally slipping off of her shoulders. 

"It's... It's fine. Don't worry about it." Her definition of fine was far-fetched from Byulyi's; her right arm was covered in black and blue bruises. 

"Next you'll say you only fell down the stairs." Byulyi spoke in a low tone, staring at Yongsun through her eyebrows. The senior's face fell and she looked to the side. Quickly, she wiped at her eye and laughed it off.

"Yeah. Down the stairs. Silly me." They could only stare at each for a few passing moments before Byulyi pulled her into a tight hug, Yongsun's head nuzzling against her chest. Byulyi's chin rested on the top of her head and kissed it softly. 

"We don't have to talk about it now." That's what Byulyi always assured her. But the day where they did talk about it has yet to come. Yongsun made it a habit to always keep it in, to bottle her emotions in fear they would be a burden to others.

"Yeah. I'd rather you kiss me than talk about anything else." Yongsun quirked her eyebrow, Byulyi chuckled at her mischief. Of course, that was what they came her for so often.

Their lips melted onto each other, sparks flying. Just like how it felt everytime; gold rushing through their veins as they held one another.

They would laugh and make jokes in between their soft, tender kisses; it was the only place they could. Forever felt so short within this time frame for the two of them, and they would have to go back to their classes to avoid suspicion.

For Yongsun's sake.

The tiny, little forevers they shared under the bleachers made all the hiding worth it. The laugh that Byulyi could get drunk on, the eyes she could drown in for eternity made it worth it.

Love worked so silly, so absurd between two young souls.

It was a little past 3 pm. After class, it was routine for Yongsun and Byulyi to be over at the Kims', the door open with a one inch gap, so her mother would be able to see them from across the hall.

Yongsun laid on her stomach on the single bed, flipping through the pages of an Avon magazine.

The two "best friends" spent their time in Yongsun's house, wasting it, mostly, by scratching the pages printed with perfume and asking the other to sniff the scent.

Other times, they would spend it like this. As soon as she finished browsing the magazines for inspiration, Yongsun would immediately try the experimental makeup looks on her lover. With her eyebrows knitted in concentration, she focused on getting the right amount of lip gloss on Byulyi's small lips.

"There. It looks nice." The girly girl shifted on the bed and pushed Byulyi to lay down, who smirked. Yongsun rolled her eyes at the incoming dirty joke.

"Come on, this is not the first time." She reached for the cup of makeup brushes on her desk and the eyeshadow palettes nearby.

Yongsun straddled the younger girl, making sure she would be able to do at least a decent job on her eye makeup. The fluffy brush patted on a decent amount of a muted brown on Byulyi's eyelid, which slowly opened. "Not the first time you're doing God knows what on my face or...?"

The senior's face flushed in embarrassment, pink dusted on her cheeks. She shushed Byulyi with an angry expression. "Keep it down, you idiot."

Yongsun got the shorter end of the stick when it came to understanding parents. Her mother barely tolerated her and Byulyi's friendship, which was already under suspicion.

Byulyi would occasionally try to convince her to hang out at hers, but she was never allowed where her mother couldn't see. She would say what Yongsun had to suffer just to keep her wasn't worth it. Yongsun begged to differ, and it showed on the bruises that stained her otherwise perfect skin. Neither of them tried to fight their troubling circumstances, but the afternoons they stole kisses from each other spoke for themselves.  
  
Dinner was always the most challenging part of staying over at the Kim's for Byulyi. Mrs. Kim was highly religious, and would always stare at her like she was a monster. She could never escape the fact that Yongsun's mother despised her this much. 

"Lord, we thank you for the food you have put on our table, we thank you for the family you have gathered here today. Amen." Yongsun peeked at Byulyi with one eye open, watching her mutter awkwardly to the same words. She observed how her body stiffened up whenever they were around family... or around her mother, anyway. Yongsun shared the same sentiment, always flinching at her mention or when she would step in front of her.  
  
The meal was eaten with a painfully awkward silence, just like it always was when Byulyi was there with them. After the junior finished, she stood up to excuse herself, Mrs. Kim close behind her. Yongsun followed to eavesdrop, but her face painted a hurt expression as soon as she caught glimpse of the conversation.

"Don't come near my daughter again, you filthy creature." Hatred flared in Mrs. Kim's eyes, and Byulyi flinched. She was disgusted, evident in how the insult rolled off her tongue with no hesitation. "I can't have your kind stirring up all sorts of trouble to my family. Do you understand?"

From the corner of her vision, she spotted Yongsun's head peeked through the doorway, the same pain reflected in her glassy eyes. 

Byulyi managed to squeak out a response, "Yes, ma'am. I'm sorry. Thank you for dinner." Shame ran through her entire body as she was dismissed. When she passed Yongsun on the hallway before sulking back home, fear radiated from her. 

The next day, she couldn't bring herself to ask why Yongsun walked with a limp. Byulyi couldn't accept that this was the price she had to pay for their relationship. They did try to keep it a secret best as they could; but what secret could stay hidden for four years?   
  
It was only a matter of time before Yongsun could get away from the cursed house when she graduated, but prom was another subject of concern for the two of them. Yongsun was immediately excited when she found out Byulyi begrudgingly agreed to go, only if she would come with her. The night of prom, Byulyi avoided Mrs. Kim at all costs, her dress bundled up in her left arm as she ran up the stairs to Yongsun's room. An arm instantly pulled her in, her butt saving her fall to the floor.

"You know we're not really going, right?" Yongsun whispered to her and Byulyi nodded right away. That was always the plan.   
  
"We have no reason to anyway," she agreed. Her girlfriend's hair was already twisted in intricate knots and curls, her makeup half-finished. Yongsun sighed and her face fell. "You wait there for me, go get changed."   
  
She did as she was told and shifted in discomfort over her attire. Yongsun only complied because of her mother's never-ending pageant schemes, and for the same reason, she chose to piss her off by pretending to go and actually skipping.   
  
The junior sat down in silence on Yongsun's bed and fiddled with her fingers. "Here," Yongsun spoke and Byulyi was able to get a good look at her. She was wearing a simple makeup look that brought out her soft cheeks and glistening eyes.   
  
Byulyi's lips parted open as soon as Yongsun whipped out her lipstick and she giggled at how concentrated she was over a single application. "I love you," she told her in a mumble, afraid there was someone listening in.   
  
Yongsun instantly smiled and stole a quick kiss on her lips, stifling a laugh right after. "You're too sappy. We have to go as soon as we can." Byulyi grabbed her hand and stood up. The two of them tiptoed to the living room with their shoes in hand.   
  
The junior started to drive the moment they stepped foot outside with their heels already strapped on. "Where are we even going to go?" The realization dawned on Yongsun. Byulyi snickered and shook her head. "I've got that part covered."

They drove around Bucheon for only a few minutes, until Byulyi stopped driving at a remote location Yongsun had never been. Byulyi's gown was bunched up in her left hand, while her right reached for Yongsun. Hesitantly, she followed Byulyi deeper into wherever they were. Then, there was the comforting sound of nature. "Hey, you're not going to actually murder me, are you?"

"If I was going to do that, it wouldn't have taken me four years into our relationship. Come now."

Yongsun scoffed and sat herself down on the edge of the river, listening in to the running water. Byulyi sat down near the edge, her toes dipped into the cold water. After a few moments of no words shared, Yongsun began to talk. "I always wanted to be a singer. I'm going to do it once I turn 20. Just you wait and see, Moon Byulyi!" The ambitious woman stood and grabbed a flat rock, and flicked her wrist to watch it plop straight down the river.

"I wasn't challenging your dreams, but okay." She stifled a laugh at her lover's failed attempt. Wearing a dark green dress that awkwardly hugged her body, Byulyi couldn't be more uncomfortable for prom night, which they rightfully skipped. Like Yongsun wasn't supposed to hear her say it, she whispered, "I really believe you can do it."

"What was that?" She smiled, amused at Byulyi's vulnerability when it came to her. The taller girl scoffed and shook her head, refusing to repeat herself. 

"You're doing it wrong."

"What wrong?" With a huff, Byulyi stood from where she sat and leaned her body against Yongsun's back. 

Panicked, Yongsun flushed and stammered. "Hey, what are you doing!" It was more of a threat than a question, really.

"Skipping rocks. That's not how you're supposed to do it." Her voice was rich, coming from her chest and down to a low tone. Their close proximity made Yongsun giggle, tickled by Byulyi's breath behind her ear. 

Her hand was soon cupped by Byulyi's, guiding her wrist on how to "skip rocks properly". 

_One, two, three._ That was the key apparently, to flick your wrist in practice before the actual attempt. 

"Go ahead, try it on your own." Byulyi stepped a foot back, allowing Yongsun to skip a rock by herself. 

_One, two, three._

The rock skipped four times before plummeting into the water. She gasped in surprise and jumped on her bare feet in celebration. 

"Careful!" Byulyi cried out, catching Yongsun in her arms. The rocks they were sat at weren't particularly dry enough to avoid accidents.

"My savior! What would I do without you?" She acted out dramatically, the back of her hand pressed to her forehead. The taller girl burst out in laughter, helping the wannabe thespian get back to her feet.

"You could easily get rid of me if you wanted. Like how your mother does." By this time, Yongsun had her arms wrapped loosely around Byulyi's neck. The junior refused to look her in the eye, head hung low. Yongsun softly caressed her cheek, their foreheads pressed together. "I would never want that." 

She closed her eyes, and there was those soft, pretty lips she could melt into, the lips that made her knees weak. Byulyi held her closer by the hand that rested on her lower back, and there was a night sparkling brighter than whatever was happening at prom night.

Yongsun leaned in deeper to the kiss, lightly pushing Byulyi's body. A small tumble was all it took for the two of them to fall into the freezing waters of the river. 

"It's..." Eyes opened now, her teeth chattered, "cold as fuck." Both laughed at the absurdity of it all. Surely, neither of them would regret this night when they grew older. Who cared about getting wasted and dancing under studio lights; this was what mattered now. 

Being the more athletic one, Byulyi hoisted herself back up to dry land, sitting down on a damp rock where her dress pooled below her feet. She extended an arm out to Yongsun, whose palm slipped against hers, sinking back into the water. 

"C'mon up now. Your gown will dry easier this way... And my arm is getting tired." Byulyi heaved a breath, and Yongsun was convinced. 

They sat next to each other in comfortable silence, Byulyi looking up at the stars. Yongsun rested her head on her shoulder; their cold, wet hands sticking together. 

Mrs. Kim would be fuming mad once Yongsun stepped foot home, but the senior couldn't care less of what her mother thought right now. In the cold, winter night, she had Byulyi. She could kiss her under the stars and not care what other people would think. That was what's important, what they would look back on a few years from now.

Byulyi didn't question her absence on graduation that winter. Only a few days after had she received the news that Mrs. Kim passed away the day Yongsun would graduate. 

Just as she expected, Yongsun bounced back like nothing happened after a few weeks of ignoring her best friend _and_ girlfriend. To some extent, it was good riddance, yet she felt sorry for Yongsun's loss. While she suffered a great deal because of her mother's heavy hand, there must have still been some good memories deep down. 

Deep deep... _deep_ down.

Yongsun walked with a skip in her step, Byulyi being dragged by the hand across the streets of Bucheon for a snack. 

"Slow down, Yong. My knees are about to give up." She was short of breath, and Yongsun still hadn't decided where they would eat. It was just a corndog!

That's right. It was just a corndog; why was it taking so long? "Yongsun-ah. You can talk to me, you know?" 

The older of the two stopped in her tracks and looked behind her. Was she finally going to confront a difficult situation or choose to evade it over and over? 

"I'm going to Seoul for an audition." Yongsun looked genuinely happy to tell her that. Byulyi was conflicted; relief over her joy, pain over her distrust, but she beamed at the girl she adored. 

She was at a loss for words, her lips parted open. "Seriously!?" Yongsun firmly nodded, and the air between them was suddenly lighter. "Wow... That's great news, Yong. I'm glad." 

It seemed that Yongsun was glad too. Things were working out in her favor, maybe. Byulyi prayed she would get accepted and finally start her path towards her goals.

"I'm proud of you, ddun." Their fingers were intertwined, and Byulyi peppered Yongsun's fingers with soft kisses. "Don't forget about me when you become famous."

" _If_ I become famous."

"You will." Yongsun evidently still doubted her abilities and assets, but Byulyi knew what she was capable of, and more. "Trust me, you will."  
  
Like she had manifested it, that weekend, Yongsun called her to say she needed to move to Seoul. Yongsun passed the audition right away. Byulyi wasn't the least surprised to see the future that lied ahead for Yongsun.   
  
The weekends stretched on like eternity while Byulyi helped Yongsun to pack the only stuff she would need in Seoul, and Christmas came just as quickly.   
  
The younger girl stood outside the Kim household, a strawberry cake warming her freezing fingers. This would be the fourth Christmas they would spend in a row, and quite possibly the last. Yongsun walked out with a bright red scarf around her neck and her eyes smiling brightly.  
  
"It's for you," Byulyi referred to the cake, implying that she should take it inside the house before they continued on for the night. She waited again, for Yongsun to come back after. Her lover instantly searched for her hand to hold while they strolled into the lively night of Bucheon.   
  
Byulyi became crestfallen as soon as she knew this would be the last date they could go on before Yongsun became famous as a singer. But the hand in hers squeezed so tightly, afraid she would let go. She looked up at Yongsun with adoration, but there was a pain that pinched in her chest.   
  
"This doesn't have to be goodbye." After watching the local fireworks and eating snacks from the bazaar stalls, they stopped in front of Yongsun's house. Byulyi waited for Yongsun's reply, but the girl only laughed, like she had told a joke.  
  
"It isn't goodbye, you worrywart. I'd never say goodbye to you." She held Byulyi's shoulder with a gloved hand, giving her a warm smile. "It's not forever."  
  
"It's going to feel like it." Byulyi frowned, and the tears streamed down her face. Yongsun reached her hand to wipe her cheek and her face fell at how Byulyi looked. It was always contagious how she cried like a baby, and pretend that she wasn't crying. The soon-to-be singer laughed and pulled down her scarf.  
  
"Here. So you won't have to miss me as much," she reassured her lover and squeezed her hand. Byulyi held on to the scarf like it was going to be her last remainder of Yongsun. Hiccuping sobs, she shrugged off her knit cardigan and wrapped it around Yongsun's shoulders.  
  
"You be happy, okay?" Byulyi's eyes were filled with hope for her future. Yongsun pursed her lips and nodded in response. She started to laugh and pulled her in a warm hug. 

"I love you." Her breath fogged up in the winter air and they shared their last kiss before Yongsun left the morning.

Yongsun debuted as a solo act after three years, and soon blew up as a powerful vocalist in Korea as her career grew exponentially over the next five years. It was what she deserved and more, while Byulyi stayed behind in Bucheon all this time.   
  
She stayed, even when Yongsun had outgrown the small town she used to call home with Byulyi. She stayed, even when her family hadn't, and she was driven to a corner, forced to live alone, just to wait for a single person.  
  
That was the problem. Yongsun wasn't 𝘫𝘶𝘴𝘵 a person to Byulyi. Yongsun was who she saw when she closed her eyes at night, when she would cry herself to sleep in the anguish that waiting gave her. She would think and pace, that if 𝘴𝘩𝘦 was the one rising to stardom, Yongsun wouldn't hesitate to stay and wait.  
  
But how long did she have to? Byulyi often questioned, wondered, thought. Yongsun hadn't come back in eight years. Would she still bother to? They would spend nights, mornings on end-to-end calls, messaging each other back and forth, but that would never be enough, never compare to what they used to have.  
  
All the days blurred into each other for Byulyi, and reality seemed like an illusion at this point. She would often think of giving up, letting go, but it was four years. She and Yongsun had spent most of their lives together; four years being neighbors before they became girlfriends in high school.   
  
Only today was different, because Yongsun called while she was still at work. On the other end of the line, the singer began to ramble. There was something about a concert, a flight... A flight to Japan. Yongsun was inviting her to a concert in Japan. 

"I can't just come to _Japan_! I have... I have work over here at Bucheon, you know that." She looked back at one of her coworkers closing up the shop before she started walking home, her phone in between her ear and shoulder.

"You do?" Yongsun sounded genuinely surprised at the late life update. 

"Yeah... Yeah, I work at the ramen house waiting tables." Byulyi's response was deflated, comparing her job to how Yongsun was selling out global concert venues had to take some piece from her ego.

"You would really spend three days waiting tables, serving ramen in the town you've never left in the 25 years of your life than watch me, your girlfriend, your best friend, perform a show in Japan?"

"Ddun... Don't get me wrong."

"Then come here! Come see me." Byulyi kicked a rock in her path, sighing deeply. " _Please_." One please was all it took to convince her. Anything Yongsun wanted could be done through a single bargaining, and there was no refusing her.

"I... I'll see what I can do."

With that, somehow, miraculously, Byulyi was on a business class flight to Tokyo three days after. It was very in character of Yongsun to forget to mention she could barely pack before she had to leave.

She did mention though that Byulyi wouldn't have to worry about her accommodation—they would share a room and a bed. Nothing they haven't done before.

The first night, she would only have to sleep. The concert would be on the second, and she'd have to leave for home by the third. That didn't seem too bad; she did come here just to see Yongsun perform.

Though if that was the case, why did she bring the most important heirloom of the Moon family? From her pocket, she fished out a small ring with a delicate gem placed on its center. Her breath hitched in her throat and she shook her head to ease her thoughts.

Before the plane landed, she could already see the city lights that illuminated Tokyo. It was nerve-wracking to see Yongsun again after so long. Times were tough apart and Byulyi had plans for them in the future.

In the airport, she was shocked that one of Yongsun's staff for the tour assisted her personally to the 5-star hotel, where Byulyi stood in the lobby for a good three minutes in awe.

Upon entering the suite, Byulyi was greeted by darkness. Yongsun better not be playing a prank to scare her.

"Ddun?" She called out to hopefully Yongsun. Her hand reached for the lightswitch and saw that nobody was in the living room as expected.

Suddenly, the door on her far right opened where a bare-faced Yongsun emerged in her pajamas. As she laid her eyes on Byulyi, she jumped back in surprise. "You scared me!"

" _You_ scared me!" Byulyi threw back at her and Yongsun exhaled, still clutching her chest, until she laughed. Her bags fell to the floor, her arms wide open for Yongsun to nestle herself in. 

"I missed you." The singer mumbled against the layers of her clothes and nuzzled her head. The two of them stayed like that for a while, relishing the comfort of each other's arms. But to Byuyli, it felt _different_ , strange. Something wasn't right with Yongsun, and she knew she would never get it out of her, because her biggest secrets would always be her feelings.  
  
When they laid together in bed with Yongsun bundled in blankets in her arms, she felt like there was a missing piece. Maybe it was just because it was her first time overseas, but it was definitely to do with Yongsun. Byulyi frowned as her fingers combed through the singer's delicate hair.   
  
She had trouble sleeping that night, and couldn't toss nor turn so as to not disturb the peacefully-sleeping Yongsun beside her. The morning she woke up, the other side of the bed was emptied and she had a text from her lover saying she needed to attend to her duties for the concert tonight.

Byulyi spent the rest of the day staring up at the ceiling, drowning in her own thoughts. She didn't like to overthink especially when things are going so well, but her hands reached for the all too familiar ring in her pocket. Her breath stuck to her throat before she could think to prepare for the concert that was two hours away.   
  
Looking behind her, the seats were filling up with no difficulty. From what she saw entering the venue, the concert was sold out. She was proud of Yongsun and happy for her, but she couldn't ease her worries no matter how close it was to showtime. Chatters replaced the silence in the stadium in anticipation of worldwide artist Yongsun. The concert was going to be two long hours for both Yongsun and Byulyi.   
  
The lights dimmed and the crowd instantly erupted into cheers. Yongsun lit up from the center of the stage and instantly smiled at her direction. Watching her like this, live her dreams, singing to an audience of thousands of people, Byulyi frowned. No one but her would ever know, but this was no longer the woman she loved. Yongsun had become someone she barely knew, except for the smiles she would pretend to wear.  
  
When the concert ended, a hollow feeling vacated Byulyi's chest, yearning for something. But what, she would soon find out.

In the empty, dim suite, it was just the two of them. This was the last night Byulyi had in Japan, she had to be at the airport before Yongsun could even breathe in the scent of her skin while they lay in bed together.

The two of them sat beside each other in lounge chairs, staring at the city lights that adorned the buildings and streets of Tokyo, champagne glasses in hand.

"I can't believe I don't have to close my eyes to see your name in lights."

"I can barely believe it myself." Byulyi looked to her side—at Yongsun, whose eyes held the stars. She watched her lips grow into a smile, the realization that all her dreams had come true sinking in. 

"To make up for the night we missed prom." She stood up, her hand extended out to Yongsun. The singer shook her head in disbelief, placing down her champagne flute. 

No music played while their bodies swayed together in the dark, their hands clasped tightly together. "Yongsun." Byulyi sucked in a breath after she dropped her name, and Yongsun's chest pinched at what was unfolding in front of her.

"I don't have the right words, I just know you know you're my best friend. You occupy every space in my mind, my heart." She chuckled and sighed. "It's—it's not enough for a superstar that's headlining shows at Tokyo, but it means a lot to me and to, to my mom. Will you marry me?"

A somber pause filled the air with the two of them already knowing what Yongsun would say.

"Byul..." Their eyes met and Yongsun's were sympathetic, while Byulyi's flashed an unfathomable hurt. She had to have known before asking. "I'm sorry."

"It's okay. Some part of me was just foolish enough to hope you'd be the same soul I met under the bleachers in junior year. But I was right, that was foolish. Forget I said anything. You can... You can have it." With a weakened spirit, Byulyi pulled away and placed the delicate ring on the round table. She started to walk away with all of her belongings following close behind.

Yongsun didn't have it in her any longer to even ask where she was going. She stood still and watched her go, with no objections.

Byulyi sat in the night train of Tokyo on the way to the airport, her arm barely holding onto her luggage. The longer she rested herself, the more the hurt seeped into her bones. Even though she was left without a reason, she already knew exactly why. 

Which was why it hurt even more. 

She found herself wondering why she even bothered to come, a tear falling from her eye.

_One, two, three._

And then all of them suddenly fell; rendering her into a sobbing mess. The woman had come into the country with a friend, a lover, some sense of self, and had gone home to Bucheon without any.

Spring and summer passed with the only place Byulyi would ever see Yongsun again was through the television set installed in the ramen house she worked at. Every now and then, her coworker Jihyo would nudge at her, boasting at how a girl from Bucheon was making headlines all across the globe. 

Yongsun was amazing; it was her against the world. She rocked every stage and concert without fail, and made a name for herself with her powerful vocals and dancing.

"Don't you think she ever gets lonely? I've heard she doesn't really have any friends in the scene because of her shy personality." Jihyo would whisper to her one night sales were low, the news playing a bit about Yongsun.

Byulyi looked up at the screen and hesitated. "I bet she does."

Three winters passed and Yongsun's name only continued to grow bigger in South Korea. By now, she was a living legend. She was Korea's Princess.

The last autumn, Byulyi stopped in front of the Kim household. Yongsun's older sister and father continued to stay here, even when she moved to Seoul permanently.

About to walk further back home, she was surprised to see Yongsun herself, in the flesh.

Back in Bucheon.

"Byulyi." The name felt like a pierce through both of their chests, breathed out like a secret. Like the secret they had always been. The chill of the winter bit them the way the same cold in their conversation had. Byulyi's smile faltered at the sight of her former lover back home. The last time she had seen her, she was still hers. "It's good to see you."

There was a strange sense of comfort in Byulyi's acknowledgement with a nod, that formed a smile on Yongsun's lips. Her eyes directed themselves to the scarf that nestled on the nook and crannies of the younger girl's neck. 

"You still have that." Byulyi's fingers instantly reached for the bright red scarf, blinking thrice, like she hadn't even know. It was a subconscious habit to her by now, grab the only scarf in the drawers. She undid its wrapping, handing it over in silence. 

"You don't have to give it back." Yongsun looked away, winced. From how close it was to her, she could smell the same perfume she wore since high school; a clean blend of freesia and cotton. Byulyi retrieved the scarf and turned her back on Yongsun. 

She started to walk away, and the sight reminded Yongsun of the night she proposed; how her back had been turned while she could do nothing but stay where she stood. "Don't... don't you have anything to say to me?" Her eyebrows knitted together in a pained expression.

Byulyi stopped for one second, "The ramen is free if you eat tomorrow night." Then she only continued to walk.

To say Yongsun was disappointed at the lack of words exchanged between them was an understatement, but she understood.

It's not like you could easily move on from the love of your life rejecting your marriage proposal. Right.

 _Right_.

At least she could have free dinner tomorrow, she thought.

The emptiness in her old home didn't do much to fill the one in her chest. It only grew bigger; she, smaller, as she walked into what once was her room.

Avon magazines were lined up on the shelf against the wall. Her matching bomber jacket with Byulyi hung behind the door, a half-empty bottle of her perfume on the desk. Just as she had left it.

A bittersweet smile hung on her lips to think it would all be cleared out had her mother still been alive. Yongsun rested herself on the bed and reached for the cardigan under the bed she knew was there. It was the closest that she could ever get to having Byulyi in her arms again.

Maybe not. She had to try tomorrow night. It could be deathly awkward, but the ache Byulyi's absence left in her life tormented her more.

Byulyi smelled like home—the sea and sage. Byulyi _was_ home. Yongsun sighed and stared at the ceiling, lost.

She could just go tonight. She could easily pay for her own meals.

That settled it. With the knitted cardigan keeping her warm over the sweatshirt she wore, Yongsun started walking through the snowing streets.

When she pushed the door to the ramen house, it wasn't Byulyi that was there right away. Instead, a waitress stared at her, gawking and starstruck.

Not a minute later, Byulyi got out from the kitchen with two trays in hand. "Oh. I told you to come tomorrow." Still, there was no expression in her face, nor her words. The weather had nothing on this girl.

"Don't worry. I'll pay for this one." She assured Byulyi and smiled. From the corner of her eye, the other waitress still stared at her in shock.

"That's Jihyo. She's my coworker. And a fan." Byulyi introduced the rose-haired girl, who could barely move from where she stood. "Jihyo, you know who she is. Yongsun and I..." Her former lover finally looked at her for the first time, the sorrow was still there before she looked away, "used to be friends."

"Friends?" Yongsun scrunched her nose up at the choice of words, the same time Jihyo questioned, "Used to be?"

Byulyi looked at the two of them like she wanted to run. "Are you going to order something or what?" She was talking to Yongsun.

"The ramen isn't going to walk to the customers." That surely had to be Jihyo. Speaking of customers, some of them started to talk about Yongsun now, who was easily recognizable from miles away considering her popularity.

"Friends, huh?" Yongsun sat down at a vacant table, while Byulyi stood, notepad and pen in hand.

"It's where we started. It's where we ended up. You're going to have the miso ramen, right?" Her voice was monotonous and she didn't look up from her notepad. Yongsun was flattered Byulyi still remembered her taste by heart.

"Do couples automatically break up after a rejected proposal?" The question had been stuck at the back of her head for the past three years since that night.

"No. I'm busy working right now, ddu—Yongsun. Save it for later." She caught her slip a moment too late and the singer smirked.

"Are you saying I'm still your girlfriend?"

"Miso ramen. Gotcha." Byulyi was now the master evader between the two of them, disappearing into the restaurant. Yongsun sank down into her seat and sighed.

She came back a few moments later, a tray with two ramen bowls on her hands. Now, she was free of her apron and nametag. Yongsun assumed she clocked out early to share a meal. Byulyi remained silent for the first half of the meal, save for when she was eating. Yongsun couldn't stand the tension between them and wolfed down the ramen as soon as it turned warm enough to do so.

"Then why didn't you stay?" She was catching her breath, but her voice was below a whisper. Byulyi huffed in defeat and looked at her right in the eye.

"I don't... I don't know who you are anymore. Sure, you're the Kim Yonsun. You were, still are, the only girl I'll ever love. The kindest, purest soul I knew. But when we met after all those years, I _didn't_ know. The Yongsun I loved was no longer there." The more Byulyi explained herself, the more Yongsun's heart sank. All of it was true, yet it was the only time someone told her as much.

"I took my chance with you—proposing. If you didn't want a future with me, I was sure you had forgotten all about us here. The every day of every year we met under the bleachers in high school, how we kept each other's winter clothes, how I supported your dream even when it no longer included me. I even let you put makeup on me even if I didn't want to. We skipped prom!" She was looking down at her lap, her face scrunching up in a writhing pain. Her tears started to fall as she laughed. "But that night... You... You watched me walk away. And only three years later, you walk back here like it's nothing, asking if we're still together."

When she looked back up at Yongsun, her cheeks were dampened, eyes welled with tears. Dumfounded and wounded, she opened her purse and placed the ring on Byulyi's hand. "I'm sorry."

Byulyi shook her head and feigned a chuckle. She returned the ring to Yongsun's hand and closed up her fist. "I... I'm still waiting for you to come back."

Yongsun looked up at her, expectant to hear those words again. But they never came and Byulyi stood up.

"My offer for dinner tomorrow stands. You can stay over at mine, if you want. I live alone now." Even though the conversation ended at a bitter note, Yongsun raised an eyebrow in suspicion.

Byulyi sniffled and stifled a laugh. "You and your imagination. Whatever." She waved a dismissing hand to Yongsun before deciding to go.

"I'll come with you. Stay over." It was the younger girl's turn to raise her suspicions, as though they didn't just have their heaviest conversation to date. Yongsun quickly grabbed her things and followed close behind Byulyi.

"Nothing's changed around here." She muttered to herself, glancing up at the bright night sky. Byulyi kept her hands inside her pockets and hummed in agreement.

"Everyone basically worships you. You're the queen of Bucheon, apparently." She chuckled, a heavy exhale leaving her lips. Yongsun was preoccupied still, at the sight of the scattered stars. Her eyes were brighter that night in Tokyo. Much like everything else was at that time. "That's changed. You've changed."

Byulyi shrugged at the nonchalance of her own statement and Yongsun caught her breath. "Are you spending Christmas with anyone?"

"Of course not. The last time I spent it was..." She trailed off, racking her memory as she kicked the pile of leaves casually.

"Eleven years ago." Yongsun finished for her. That was the last time she spent Christmas with someone else, too.

Their last Christmas together before Yongsun moved to Seoul. That was when she left her scarf to Byulyi, who gave her the knit cardigan she was wearing.

Byulyi nodded in agreement. "Yeah. That must be it."

"Me too."

That alone made the conversation awkward quickly; knowing either of them had chosen to move on or let go from each other. The conversation was saved when Byulyi stopped in front of a building unfamiliar to Yongsun; she was no longer staying at their old house.  
  
"Where are your sisters and parents?" She asked her, slipping off her shoes and her warm outerwear. Byulyi walked further into the apartment before answering, "No one stayed here except for me. They all moved to Seoul eventually."   
  
Why would she stay at Bucheon; away from her family and working a job that would barely pay well? Silence befell the two of them when Yongsun realized.   
  
"Only took you three years to come back though. No big deal." Byulyi placed her keys on the countertop and tapped her fingers against it, turning her back on Yongsun. She frowned at her selflessness. Byulyi never had it in her to ever be selfish; all she asked was for the Yongsun she knew, she loved, to come back to Bucheon in her arms. But that was no longer the future Yongsun saw for herself. 

"There's only one bed, by the way... It's not exactly the five-star hotel you must be used to by now. Make yourself feel at home, there's snacks in the fridge and pantry. I'll be in bed." Just like that, they were back to how cold and aloof Byulyi treated her. Yongsun gnawed on her lower lip and looked around the empty space in the living room. Finally, she settled on laying down in the bedroom, next to Byulyi.

"I thought about you every day. Every night, wonder what you were up to." Beside her, Byulyi shifted but didn't respond. "I missed you every day."  
  
"Go to sleep, Yong." Byulyi's voice was groggy, but her tone had softened around Yongsun, compared to when they were eating dinner. The singer folded her hands on her stomach and closed her eyes. That was better than no response. How did things change so drastically in a matter of eleven years? 

Three years after the proposal. And all this time, Byulyi waited with her dead-end job, the same town she's always been in, just for the slight chance things would go back to the way they once were between them. Yongsun's chest tightened and she couldn't sleep. Not like this.   
  
Still, at some point that night, she fell asleep next to Byulyi. In the morning, she was already up when Yongsun was still rubbing her face and trying to figure out what time it was.  
  
"You want to go for a drive?" Her head was tilted to the side and she already had her car keys in hand. It seemed like this was the only time she was going to ask so Yongsun came to her senses and panicked to get ready.   
  
Within less than five minutes, she was ready to plop down on the passenger seat of Byulyi's car and feel the wind on her face. The windows were rolled down for her to inhale Bucheon's crisp autumn air.   
  
Byulyi watched the girl she loved laugh against the wind. Her heartstrings tugged, as if her mind and her heart was in a battle of what to feel right now. Her eyes stayed glued on Yongsun, her inviting soft eyes that were so inviting she could almost jump in. But she looked straight ahead, focusing on the road ahead. Who knew how much days more Yongsun would spend here. She could make it worth her while. 

When the car stopped, Yongsun fell silent. "It looks different during the day." There was some part of her that remembered where she came from at the very least. Meanwhile, Byulyi exhaled deeply and her eyebrows furrowed.   
  
The two of them walked in silence, then there was the sound of the river's running water. "When are you leaving?"   
  
"For Seoul? Tonight. Did you want to drive me?" Yongsun joked, her hands cupping the cold water. It was no less than an hour, but that was an offer Byulyi would rather refuse for a multitude of reasons. "Don't worry. I know you won't."  
  
"This is place never changed. I would come back here every now and then." Byulyi sat down beside her, with a dumb smile on her face. "Some days I would hope you'd be here. But that was silly. I was young then. I'm a few years wiser to know better now."   
  
Yongsun could only watch her as she continued talking. "You know, my mom didn't question why I never returned her ring; why no news of engagement ever came up. I think she knows, to some point. But I don't know what matters anymore at this point."   
  
"I think I should go." The singer muttered under her breath, but nothing could go past Byulyi.   
  
"Go where? Seoul?" She was evidently confused, and for a good reason too. Yongsun nodded and looked at Byulyi, her tears threatening to fall.   
  
"Okay."

There was a pause and the two of them looked at each other, and suddenly, it felt like the night of prom by the river, it felt like the night when Yongsun rejected Byulyi's proposal, it felt like something had clicked, and then had unlinked.

Yongsun's fingers felt for the ring that was in her pocket—the reminder of her past, the reminder that there was a love she could still come back to if she wanted.

Byulyi's eyes softened for a flash second as they landed on Yongsun's lips—the same lips she kissed in high school under the bleachers. They turned up into a smile, the one she wore in the picture in Byulyi's wallet.

The pause lingered like a heavy sigh in the air, Yongsun prayed Byulyi would tell her to stay here—home, where it was warm, where her heart truly belonged. She needed to hear it from those lips, plead and ask for her presence.

But it felt like it had been a forever ago since either of them spoke. Maybe Byulyi in fact did not want her to stay.

"Goodbye, Byul."

"Goodbye, Yong."

_I love you. I'll come back._

Their lips met in a parting kiss, unknown whether Yongsun would ever look back to where she had come from. 

_I don't love you enough to keep letting you hurt me, but I do._

_Three._

Their intertwined fingers separated and the feeling of the filled gaps lingered, Yongsun forced herself to smile like all those years she would come to school with bruises or a black eye. 

_Don't come back._

_Two._

Yongsun smiled through that hurt that had stayed, even when she hadn't, and the hurt had poured itself onto Byulyi. She found herself wondering what would happen if she had stayed in Bucheon, if she would sentence herself to the same fate Byulyi had. No matter the answer, she knew it would always lead to Byulyi in Bucheon—where her heart would be waiting.

 _Don't_. 

_One._


End file.
